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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in dramedy's InsaneJournal:

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    Thursday, December 31st, 2020
    11:11 am
    FRIENDS ONLY
    It's cool.

    What can I say? I've decided to go the route of the flock. There will still be public posts from time to time so that my mum can read up whilst I'm in college, but mostly they'll be under the lock.

    So, if we're not friends, and you would like to read my whiny bitching, drop me a comment.

    No, I'm not cutting anyone. As of NOW. Dundundun! ...j/k. *hugs*

    <33 Lauren
    Thursday, February 12th, 2009
    11:35 pm
    I'm a little bit tired of fearing that I'll be the bad fruit nobody buys.
    The title is pretty much how I feel right now.

    You know what, I try hard to be the best friend that I can be. and sometimes it's great, and other times it's not.

    I am, omg, so lonely right now, it hurts. I've spent the better part of the last three or more hours crying my eyes out over stuff I can't change. Like the fact that I've never been kissed sober. I've never had a relationship, I've never even had a fucking DATE. I'm almost 21 and no one has ever expressed any interest in me (while sober with the exception of a hobo in a library. but he might not have been sober) as anything but a friend (even then, I do most of the friend making plans).

    I just don't know what to do anymore. I have friends, but none of them seem to want to talk to me on any sort of consistent basis.

    What am I supposed to do? How do I say "pay attention to me" without coming off as needy and desperate (which at this point I might be)? Why do I have to be the one to call attention to myself anyway? I don't want constant attention, but the occasional "Thinking of You" text/IM would be fucking nice. Once a month? Once a year on a day that is not my birthday?

    Why the hell do I even try? I just. UGH.

    The world sucks today, and I'm not even going to apologize for it.

    Current Mood: discontent
    Current Music: Scar - Missy Higgins [The Sound of White]
    Tuesday, February 3rd, 2009
    10:43 pm
    blaaaaah
    I should really really be studying for my Econ test, since the entirety of my grade is dependent on the tests.

    Instead, I, I who don't enjoy drawing porn, have drawn at least three smutty things. One is from a fic! YES, I READ A FIC! and it's the only slash... One is just my twisted mind. and one is technically from a prompt from that infidelity comm. That I never claimed, but stuck in my head. The last two are het. Oh shut up.

    I don't usually have porn kicks, but I think I may be on one. huh. weird.

    I've been thinking about attempting a webcomic, but I'm not sure about what I'd write/draw. :/ :/

    also, still a little groggy. Stupid cold. BUH!

    I love my friends. :D

    ♥

    Current Mood: awake
    Current Music: So Close - Jon McLaughlin
    Thursday, January 29th, 2009
    3:55 pm
    PIMP PIMP PIMP PIMP
    YOU. HEY YOU.

    You like art, yeah? 'Course you do, EVERYONE likes ART. ART IS AWESOME.

    Want to help a poor broke artistpay her bills? OF COURSE YOU DO.

    [info]littleblackbow(on IJ) IS SELLING HER ART!!!!!!!!!!!!

    As you SHOULD know, I love her stuff, and she's amazing. So if you've can help her out, I'd suggest taking a look when she posts stuff, because it will be AWESOME.

    SERIOUSLY!

    Current Mood: determined
    Current Music: It's Hard Out Here For a Pimp - 3 6 Mafia [Hustle and Flow OST]
    Monday, September 29th, 2008
    10:16 am
    Temporary hiatus type thing
    HIATUS

    I'm not going anywhere, but I've got a shit ton of work, and I'm not allowing myself on LJ for a while. I need to just step away, and focus on the things IRL that I need to get done. I'll still be doing my art for [info]hump_day_smut and signing up for [info]yuletart, but that's about it.

    So I will try to read, but I may not comment, and if there's something you want my input on or anything like that, email me. and I'll be back! in small increments. look for me to be MAJORLY back in December! ♥

    I ♥ you all, but I just need to focus! Thanks for understanding! :D :D

    See you all on the flipside.


    Current Mood: busy
    Current Music: The Book I Write - Spoon [Stranger Than Fiction]
    Tuesday, September 23rd, 2008
    5:39 pm
    It's not often I get a book with whips and lace up boots on it.
    So I'm reading this book, "Different Loving: The World of Sexual Dominance & Submission" and all of a sudden it hits me. Instead of writing a paper on fanfic stereotypes (aka we are not nerds who have nothing better to do) I could write a paper on this. So I do a quick Lexis Nexis search and find about three times as many magazine and newspaper articles(mainstream media) for just typing in BSDM. Including several portraying all S&M people as freaks, or quoting people who think that it's a psychological trauma that induces it. It's really interesting. I'm super excited to read and write about it.

    So if any of you have any suggestions for sources, or anything like that, let me know either via comment or via email at animegurl65 [at] gmail [dot] com if it's more personal/you don't want anyone to know that you know.

    I'm so excited! I know very little about this subculture, so I'm super excited to sink my teeth into it(although I have to limit myself to five pages! NO FAIR ENGLISH PROF D: D:).

    Aside from that, things are going well. No word back from Knox about whether I can even apply for readmission(I decided that I'd just check). So we'll see about that.

    Still feeling pretty good. Picked back up with my WiiFit, only to find I'd gained five pounds D: D: SO NO MORE CHEESE FRIES.

    and more wii fit!! AND FELICIA DAY IS IN HOUSE TONIGHT! HELLS YEAH.

    ♥!

    Current Mood: bouncy
    Current Music: Ballrooms Of Mars - Various Artists [School of Rock]
    Sunday, September 21st, 2008
    7:42 pm
    you know what
    I normally get angsty or sentimental or angry or upset when shit doesn't go my way. When things go to crap or I get in a fight with someone, I curl in, and worry about things I can't fucking control. Instead I'm gonna fucking study like no one's business and rock the face off these next few exams. and I'm gonna keep it up. because this is not a phase, this is not a thing to be endured, it's a thing to OWN.

    I am not that girl anymore. I'm not someone who will sit down and ignore duties. I will do my shit, I will fucking take these classes to the floor, I will knock them out. I'm a fucking brilliant person, and it's time that I owned that.

    I'm feeling like a huge bitch, but you know what, I'm totally okay with it.

    I think this is what change feels like.

    Peace but not really.

    Current Mood: calm
    Current Music: No Apologies - Eminem [Eminem Presents The Re-Up]
    Thursday, September 18th, 2008
    12:02 am
    suddenly, the wheels are in motion, and I, I'm ready to take all my chances with youuuuuuu.
    GOD XANADU IS AN AWFUL AWFUL MOVIE. I love it. I wrote a paper on it for class. OMFG I've seen those damn muses dance out of that neon painting SO MANY TIMES. But it's done WAY BEFORE THE DEADLINE OMFG. Also, someone wrote one on 300, and I want to stab something. GAUGH, FRANK MILLER INDUCED RAAAGE. *breathes*

    Am possibly writing a paper on a fandom. Not sure which one yet. Yay ENGL101. :P My teacher is kind of awesome, lol. I hope if I slip something in there about gay porn, he'll just love it. XD XD HE'S AN EX-PUNK, WHO WORKS AT STATE FARM. ROFL.

    Next in line, though, is a 5 page one on the Campaign of Princeton. Oh history. :P My goal is to have it done/draft one done by Friday at 4:30. So that's... possible? If I get it done by Friday afternoon, I shall reward myself by going to Knox for the rest of the weekend. *nod nod*

    Now I'm REALLY going to bed, like I told [info]lauriegilbert I was. HONESTLY.

    *must get sleep to work on paper, to go to Knox*

    *WILL NOT WATCH MORE SG-1*

    *BAD LAUREN*

    (Seriously, though, anyone got any good Sam icons? SHE'S SO AWESOME *___* Also Sam/Jack would be nice. Only on season two...BED. RIGHT.)

    Current Mood: working
    Current Music: Dreams - Fleetwood Mac
    Monday, September 15th, 2008
    12:00 am
    behind the melody the words don't mean a thing
    I have a MASSIVE POST OFDOOM ART RECS coming soon. Seriously. It's HUGE. and I'm like 99.9 percent sure I'm missing someone. Like, it's on the tip of my brain, but I've got a SHIT TON OF PEOPLE. Random deviants, LJ users, etc.

    Still, I'll take recommendations, if you want to pimp yo' self or someone else.

    Someone remind me that I'm not supposed to be going crazy over this when I have homework for this week still untouched(A thousand words on why a movie either has good or bad qualities, a paper due a week from friday on the Battle of Trenton & Princeton, and probably a quiz somewhere in there. Oh and a rough draft of a essay on a sbuculture. Um, the only one I belong to involves homoerotic fiction? Maybe I should talk about females in media, or politics, or business majors. Or something).

    My weekend was pretty chill. Had a very very good Friday night over in G.Burg, and then a hell of a time driving back in that awful rain, and then a pretty good Sunday(In cluding listening to a Zambrano NO HITTER. HELL YEAH. I love baseball). How about yours?

    I think I'll go to bed, and get up tomorrow and start the film essay. Then I'll do more on the history paper when I get bored with that. and I'll go to class. Oh that horrible parking thing is going on this week. Grar. ANYWAY.

    Good night, m'dears!!!

    ♥

    Current Mood: stressed
    Current Music: 何度でも - DREAMS COME TRUE [何度でも]
    Thursday, September 11th, 2008
    10:31 pm
    oh shit, it's been a week.
    Oops.

    Have some art. SOME NWS ART. N W S. Also, dubious/possibly non-con.
    Bellatrix/Luna over at PP.

    Have metric shit ton of work this weekend, then will go down to once a week! :D YEP, I decided not to quit because she offered me consistent hours. WHOOO.

    Am also slipping off to Knox for my friend's birthday. WHOOT.

    Not much else going on. :D :D

    HOW ARE YOU? ♥

    Current Mood: busy
    Current Music: New Soul - Yael Naïm [Yael Naïm]
    Monday, September 1st, 2008
    3:23 pm
    Wii Fit, bets, and porn
    I got a Wii, and Wii Fit. How exciting. except now I realise that I have no friends to play with :( I shall endeavour to make some in order to play with them. and drag Scarlett up force my old Knox friends my family.

    I'm not sure if I've mentioned the EPIC BET that my mom and I have. It's one that we both want me to win, so that's good. basically, if I lose two pants sizes by December 25th(four months from approx. the starting date), She'll pay for my airplane(or maybe even train) ticket to San Fran. The down side? If I LOSE, I can't go at all to any HP cons that year. :| No one tell Dad, it's supposed to be a surprise. >_>

    I BASICALLY have to lose 10-15 pounds a MONTH. or 3-4 pounds a week. SO WISH ME LUCK! :D :D

    The OTHER really amazing and EXCITING NEWS is that I got an invite to pornish_pixies over on IJ. So, that's thrilling. I've got one piece of art prepped to be scanned for it already, and more on the way. SO EXCITED.

    Homework needs to be done, but all in good time. I need to er, start that rough draft of that personal essay. grar. I really hate it. and loads of reading to catch up on. it'll only take me a little bit to read it all, so I'm not rushing. >_>

    That's all really. OH and I'm pretty sure I'm going to quit LB soon, as a few scheudling gaffes have really pissed me off, and I long to have weekends free again. I'll miss the money, but I won't miss the douchey customers etc.

    Now that's it. :D WHEE. XD

    Current Mood: blank
    Current Music: Voices Carry - 'Til Tuesday [Modern Rock Hits Of The 80's]
    Friday, August 22nd, 2008
    8:17 pm
    a favor to be asked, a need met. in the center of the heart, sans regret.
    HEY YOU. YES YOU.

    Do you have a favorite artist? several?

    I'm compiling a list of art recs(oh, it's pan-fandom! so any other fandom works too! :D) and other such info, and while I can find a lot, I can't find them all.

    DevArt links work as well, as I hope to start a collection(or more) of fanwork on there as well.

    So help a girl out!Comment with an artist you think I might have missed!

    PLEASE?

    Thanks!:D

    Current Mood: full
    Current Music: One Sweet Love - Sara Bareilles [Little Voice]
    Thursday, August 21st, 2008
    10:34 pm
    say hello to St. Peter, or whoever has his job, but in hell.
    I LOVE MY FLIST! I GOT A PACKAGE FROM[info]greenspine and YES AND A LETTER TYPED DELICATELY BY THE AMAZING [info]elanorofcastile!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I HAS SMELLY THINGS AND A LETTER OF LOLZ. DAY IS MADE. It was really really awesome to come home from working two jobs today as WELL, to find a whole lot of love at my place on the table. *happy sigh*

    Actually I almost spilled one of the scents(CROWLEY!! I LOVE THAT SCENT!! *twirls*) I got all over my hands, and they still smell vaguely of Crowley. :D I love saying that. XD

    WAHEY! I HAVE THE BEST FRIENDS EVER! :D :D :D :D :D

    Seriously, I love everyone right now. And I'm not just saying that because I am full of advil and sleep drugs. I really love you guys. *sniff sniff*

    I'm gonna get some art posted at some point tomorrow or something. *fails at fadom output atm* WILL BE BETTER.

    ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

    and my room is so messy. THAT'S WHAT DAYS OFF ARE FOR. ART AND CLEANING! :D :D

    ♥

    Current Mood: bouncy
    Current Music: Split Screen Sadness - John Mayer [Heavier Things]
    12:12 am
    i am unworthy of your love, darlin' darlin'
    It's weird to me that people were surprised by negative feedback in that anonymeme. I went in EXPECTING it, and all I got was nice/caring sentiments. Like, it's totally weird to me that no one secretly hates me? XD I dunno. But then I think of what WOULD have happened if I got negative feedback, and I understand, because even though I anticipated it, I don't think I'd like it. and it would upset me. So I understand.

    I forgot to mention, my printer/scanner broke. I am pretty sure that my mom's scanner will work, although I haven't used it since we first got it out of the box, and it doesn't work with my mom or my sister's computer. I may also be able to borrow Shorty's while she's in MN. all else fails, I'll be scanning in art in the library. I do use the computer with the scanner all the time. but at the moment, I'm kind of flailing about, so I dunno when I'll actually get off my ass and post some art.

    first, self, you have to DRAW the art XD XD

    I need to be up and out by 8am. D: BEDS!

    ANYWAY.

    ILU ALL.

    ♥

    Current Mood: crazy
    Current Music: God, that's Good - Patti LuPone, Maonoel Felciano, and Michael Ververies and Cast of Sweeney Todd [S
    Wednesday, August 20th, 2008
    1:41 am
    I know it's your soul, but could you bottle it up?
    THEANONYMOUSMEME


    I cannot work this much again. Now I just have to work up the guts to tell my LB boss that I want to cut back my hours/NOT WORK TUESDAY NIGHTS EVER AGAIN.

    Yes, I really really should be in bed by now. but I need to make sure that I'm not cocking my hybrid class shit up, wtf. and I will need all the time in the world tomorrow. D:

    <3

    Have I told you lately that I love you all? BECAUSE I DO.

    [info]bossymarmaladeWROTE ME GENE/FRANK!!!!!!!!!!

    *parties*

    *hugs*

    Current Mood: awake
    Current Music: Slipping - Neil Patrick Harris [Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog]
    Sunday, August 17th, 2008
    9:09 pm
    In case you ever wanted to, IDK, IM me?
    Here's some info, yo.

    AIM: animegurl65
    YIM: slashfiend@rocketmail.com
    MSN: le_dramedy@hotmail.com
    (All managed through Pidgin, yay. :D)

    I'm generally on, sometimes even when I'm away, lol.

    school starts tomorrow. GRAH. Have color-coded excel sheet as a schedule, a new organizer and lots of things to start off with. WILL BE AWESOME. >:| no panic attacks, nothing will prevent me from getting into a good design school!! ((Can't decide if I should even TRY Emerson, or maybe an Art Institute school? or MCAD, lolz. SO MANY CHOICES. OMG.))

    Oh, PS I want an art degree. Maybe more. want a BFA and maybe an MFA in art, and then I will teach college art. or just. study art. and write books about how Jackson Pollock sucks.

    Oh, should organize my stuff into my rolling backpack! :D wheeeee :D

    Oh god, I am so fucking nervous. I WILL NOT FAIL OUT. FAILURE IS NOT AN OPTION, YO.

    Current Mood: groggy
    Current Music: Gravity - Sara Bareilles [Little Voice]
    Thursday, August 14th, 2008
    12:34 am
    Are you kidding? What heist were you watching?
    Where is all the Gene Kelly/Stanley Donen fic? Yeah, I went there. OMGTHEIRLOVEISSOCHOREGRAPHED. Or maybe Gene/Errol Flynn? They're only 3 years apart. AND Gene was a Democrat liberal, and Errol was an alledged Nazi sympathizer. HOT, y/y? oooh oooh, how about young!Gene and older!Fred Astaire! It's like Snarry(esp. mentor!fic) WITH DANCING. Heh.

    Also, I forgot to mention, even though I found out LAST wednesday, that I have a job in the library. I'm extremely nervous as I work at 9am and I REALLY don't want to cock it up. Knowing me, I will, but still. It'd be nice NOT to be a total screw up? XD *works on self confidence* Going to keep on one night a week at LB, just for the discount and because Bree asked me to.

    I've got a list of things to go over with my head shrinker tomorrow. So, yeah, hopefully I can get more stuff on the table with him, and work on things more.

    Also, in a truly WEIRD moment, I saw a comment about me over in someone's journal saying I was a good friend and co worker. ...wtf? I'm hoping they meant someone else, because if one of my co-workers has an LJ? WEIRDED OUT. At least they LIKE me and it's not, like "DRAMEDY IS A FUCKING WHORE." Er. yay?

    Oh, and for new friends, my art comm is [info]drunkedy, but I'll post here if I do art too.

    MOST IMPORTANTLY: NEW BEDSPREAD. PINKS AND BROWNS. New room color to follow soon. probably a nice beige, or a soft pink. Oh I'll have to rename my room D: Good bye, Purple Paradise. CLEARLY IMPORTANT AND RELEVANT TO EVERYONE.

    must clean room soon. but for now, I leave you with this discussion question: Should men shave their armpits?

    (I say yes, they should shave everything because hair is gross. my sister says no. )

    DISCUSS.

    /randomest entry ever. god I'm so tired, lol

    Current Mood: apathetic
    Current Music: I'm Alive - Cast [Xanadu OBCR]
    Wednesday, August 13th, 2008
    12:02 am
    there's no where she can hide when a crazy robot wants to make you his cyborg bride
    Okay. (cross-posted to IJ, since I did friend some people over there!)
    ( DAY BY DAY ACTION! Seriously kind of boring. I R FAILBOATS. )
    pictures to come when I find/get off my ass and get/retrieve my camera.

    Current Mood: sleepy
    Current Music: keep your head up - Felicia Day [Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog]
    Wednesday, September 5th, 2007
    12:44 am
    buuuuuuuuuuh
    School is...boring. I want classes to start. I'm registered for two, but I need to find someone to let me in to one of their classes. Otherwise I have to do an independent study. :/ fail. I'd like to take a GWST or SOMETHING pertaining to a possible minor. Failing that, I'd like to take something with Kristin, so I can bitch about it with her.

    Also, Pumphandle is tomorrow. I am teh uber excited because Megan and I are forcing each other to go, and we're going to have hilarious Doctor quotes on our name tags. Yes, we are that dorky. and yes, that makes me excited. and yes I might get syphilis of the hand, but goddamnit, it's tradition. Also, I am totally taking my shiny new chair from target(one of those metal folding ones that's mesh-y and nice. I'm gonna get there early so I dont have to walk with it for long, lol.

    Also, soy milk + tea = superhappy delicious. (I could totally be vegan except that I love eggs. and real milk. and meat. shut up). Soy milk that I got from Target(Did I mention Lucas and I are NEVER ALLOWED TO GO SHOPPING TOGETHER AGAIN. we're each other enablers in the worst way. True, I didn't get anything I don't need(tupperware for the big fridge in the kitchen, more hangers, batteries for my pencil sharpner, cereal, soy milk, mirror, and a squishy chair. oh there's more...), but I'm pretty sure I can't afford anything else, like, ever. *plots ways to get parents to pay for it*

    ((SPEAKING OF WHICH, FATHER, PLEASE TO BE NOT comparing my spending with Katie's NOW, and then saying that I can't come in after midnight like Katie NOW, because I'm younger. and guess what, Katie and Danny came home over breaks and shit and I'm pretty fucking sure you put as much in their gas tanks then as you did mine this summer, so stop tearing into me. and just because you didn't BUY the cars for them DIRECTLY(he bought new car, gave them the old), you still bought their damn cars. I try to pay for my own stuff and you get mad. I ask you to pay for stuff, you get mad(no, seriously, he wouldn't let me buy cheap wiper blades and install them myself. HE had to buy the most expensive, and HE had to install them). WTH? Also, me borrowing Katie's telly while she had a big one, and then GIVING HER BACK HER TV is not the same as you BUYING ME A TV LIKE YOU DID FOR THEM(Also, I DON'T NEED A BUILT IN DVD PLAYER. You did offer me a larger one with out. so a 15-19 in w/o in FINE. DVD PLAYERS ARE CHEAP). SO STFU. If you would please stop bitching about how you have to spend SOOO much on me, and how Katie is paying you back for everything you've done for her ever[she's paying him partially back, yes, but not everything he's ever done for her], and just say, "HAY, WE CAN'T AFFORD IT RIGHT NOW, BUT WHEN WE CAN, IT'S TOTALY YOURS, HON." Then I wouldn't really care. It's not like I really need a TV. BUT GODDAMNIT JUST BE FUCKING HONEST. ))
    Also, I read a gen SPN fic that actually made me interested in the characters again. If only I had a telly :/

    Also, I had to skip50. I haven't had to do that in a WHILE (I really like the word also).

    Also, my contacts are killing me and I need to wash this cup and brush my teeth and change into PJs(I was supposed to meet Lucas at the Giz for happyfuntimes, but Creepy Zach was there...so not for us).

    Also, like, three people asked me where Jay is, and dude, I am not his keeper. WTF? IDK, I asked Seth(his roommate) and he's arriving tom--today.

    Also, IHSA speech really was an borderline-incestous pool of crazy.

    Also, I'm...going now.

    Current Mood: dorky
    Current Music: You Give Love A Bad Name - Bon Jovi [Slippery When Wet]
    Sunday, September 2nd, 2007
    9:56 pm
    In which Lauren is very loving and caring...
    As soon as I'm done burning some CDs for my car, I'm gonna pack up Tiernan and put him in my car.

    I'm going back to Knox. It's very different. For one, I have a single on the lower level, so no massive trek up the stairs. I know that my first focus is my studies. I know that the solution to stress is not to go out and party or use other methods of avoidance.

    I know that I'm so so very lucky to be able to go to ths school.

    I know that I'm very lucky to have you guys.

    I know that no matter what, there are people who truly care about me. and that means more than words can say.

    <3

    Till....tomorrow afternoon, lol.

    <3 Lauren <3

    ((PS, am still taking requests for art, yo. Please validate my abilities give me something to do D:))

    Current Mood: loved
    Current Music: Devestation And Reform - Relient K [Five Score And Seven Years Ago]
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